I'm not complaining, but my book is going places I have never been. It is now offered on 26 sites, inlcuding Amazon, Barnes and Noble and is in Canada, UK and Japan! It's exciting but it doesn't sell if people don't know what it is!!!
So any suggesitons on how to promote my book more is greatly appreciated.
In case you don't know, it's a true story about my son, Josh and what his life was like growing up with bipolar disorder, but it's written as a children's book so anyone can understand it. It is also illustrated in a style similar to his as a child.
I've sold a few copies and it is getting good reviews and great feedback from the families that are reading it.
I am self publishing so no high powered publisher is pushing or promoting so with that in mind, maybe you can forgive my blatant efforts!
If you read it (you can buy a less expensive version as a download book on lulu.com/celtwolfe), I would love your response to it. Email me at celtwolfe@gmail.com.
Thanks!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Better Communications - Better Empathy
When I teach to families, one of the workshops that I truly enjoy teaching is Communications. Our focus during this class is to learn how to speak, using our core emotions to convey our thoughts. For example instead of saying I am mad that you missed curfew, what you are really feeling is fear and frustration. Fear for your child’s safety and frustration that they are disrespecting you and your values by not abiding by your rules as the parent.
So we practice saying things that convey the real issues. It’s hard, it’s awkward and at times a person has to really think and dig to figure out what they really feel. It appears at times that we have become a two emotion society – if we aren’t pissed off, then we are complacent. When something takes away our ability to be complacent, then we are pissed.
Granted, emotions can be very basic, but come on…… to position ourselves where we only operate off two emotions!!! How do we allow that to happen?
Also, if we can not get past knowing if we are mad or complacent, meaning if we can’t even define our own emotions, how do we begin to read the emotions of others?
The first step to developing empathy is being able to understand the other person’s position, how they got there and what it feels like. If we can not even do that for ourselves, is it any wonder, that political correctness has become the safe replacement for true empathy?
And the irony of this is, that once you are put back on the path of being able to empathize, the gift is not to the person you are empathizing with, it is to yourself. And you know how I know this? By the looks of calm, peace and relaxation that comes to the people as they practice their new, core emotions based communications. They are better able to express themselves, better able to understand the other person and ultimately, get better solutions. Now why wouldn’t they feel better?
So we practice saying things that convey the real issues. It’s hard, it’s awkward and at times a person has to really think and dig to figure out what they really feel. It appears at times that we have become a two emotion society – if we aren’t pissed off, then we are complacent. When something takes away our ability to be complacent, then we are pissed.
Granted, emotions can be very basic, but come on…… to position ourselves where we only operate off two emotions!!! How do we allow that to happen?
Also, if we can not get past knowing if we are mad or complacent, meaning if we can’t even define our own emotions, how do we begin to read the emotions of others?
The first step to developing empathy is being able to understand the other person’s position, how they got there and what it feels like. If we can not even do that for ourselves, is it any wonder, that political correctness has become the safe replacement for true empathy?
And the irony of this is, that once you are put back on the path of being able to empathize, the gift is not to the person you are empathizing with, it is to yourself. And you know how I know this? By the looks of calm, peace and relaxation that comes to the people as they practice their new, core emotions based communications. They are better able to express themselves, better able to understand the other person and ultimately, get better solutions. Now why wouldn’t they feel better?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Never Underestimate the Spirit!
Well the webiste is up but we are still working out the kinks. Never underestimate the spirit isa project formed by the Council of Families for Children. It is designed to be a support system, blog, fourm, resource and networking site for young adults with mental illness.
What you can expect to find on this site as it pogresses will be links to other sites and organizations, classes, forums for asking and sharing information and a place to post about yourself in an effort to start soical groups and meet new friends.
The kinks are just being identified, but stop by and register now and play around with the different features!
http://www.nutsaboutu.com
What you can expect to find on this site as it pogresses will be links to other sites and organizations, classes, forums for asking and sharing information and a place to post about yourself in an effort to start soical groups and meet new friends.
The kinks are just being identified, but stop by and register now and play around with the different features!
http://www.nutsaboutu.com
Monday, January 7, 2008
It is still the best of times..... because I'm alive
I know that I spend a lot time talking about mental health, mental illness and everything around those subjects. Today, I have a flight of whimsy I hope you’ll join me on. After all, the blog is called “Why aren’t we talking about this?” which leaves us a whole list of things to discuss.
I have finally realized the truth about middle age. It is not so much about an age or number but how your mind, spirit and body are on a route at different rates of time.
In my mind, I am still 16. I am passionate about many of the same things I was in high school. I become indignant about all the hateful things in this world that seem so easy to eradicate but never seem to go away – discrimination, hate, deceitfulness, and the basic corruption of a man’s soul. These things troubled me then and trouble me today.
And in other ways, I am still 16. Young men from the ages of 22 – 28 excited me then and today they still do. Back then they were “Older men” and today they are so much younger, it almost rankles on the edge of moral and spiritual indecency. But those young bodies full of promise and ripe with plans for future still are enticing, but maybe,… just maybe, slightly different reasons. Before there was the promise of pleasure and passion. Now, when I look at them I see the promise of life to be fulfilled and yet to be lived… and yes, I still see and feel passion… I said I was middle aged, not dead!
Physically, I know I can’t attract these vessels of masculinity like I once could. And I guess a part of me is relieved about that. What if this aging body with the young mind and spirit could not keep up? Would my spirit then wither and dry up and die away? Or is it the idea of what youth was and what it always will be that keeps my blood pumping and mind jumping with ideas? Another part of me is a bit aggravated that I can’t laugh and wink my way into their hearts. If these young men are no longer available for me t practice my flirtatious ways, where will I practice them now? Older men are tired – sometimes too tired for the game of flirtation or they’re so cranky they have even forgotten what flirting is about. Flirting is that harmless act of verbal banter that reminds us, in spite of all the things in this world that tries to makes us asexual, there really is a difference between the boys and the girls and that difference is wonderful.
So middle age is about the realization that once you have a lot of things figured out and can finally appreciate them, your don’t have the time or maybe even the energy or the resources to carry on in such a manner. And that makes all the things you hadn’t given thought to before, a major degree of importance that you may have been overlooking.
Conversations with old friends are now cherished instead of discarded as being superficial and regaled as “just not being enough to keep me interested”.
Courtesies from strangers such as a “thank you” or a holding open a door can oftentimes turn a sour day into one of appreciation and thanksgiving. Good manners, that things I once touted as being “regimented brainwashing” is now perceived as a strangers way of saying to me “I see you and you matter.” So I’ve developed an appreciation for the finer but at the same time simpler things in life at this point.
So middle age, while maybe not a period of time for celebration, it’s definitely not a time for mourning either. It is just a time to be… who you are, and to appreciate who you were and to look forward to who you will be.
As Mick well knows, “Time, time, time – is on my side, yes it is.” And he’s still singing it, wearing his orthopedic shoes. Rock on.
I have finally realized the truth about middle age. It is not so much about an age or number but how your mind, spirit and body are on a route at different rates of time.
In my mind, I am still 16. I am passionate about many of the same things I was in high school. I become indignant about all the hateful things in this world that seem so easy to eradicate but never seem to go away – discrimination, hate, deceitfulness, and the basic corruption of a man’s soul. These things troubled me then and trouble me today.
And in other ways, I am still 16. Young men from the ages of 22 – 28 excited me then and today they still do. Back then they were “Older men” and today they are so much younger, it almost rankles on the edge of moral and spiritual indecency. But those young bodies full of promise and ripe with plans for future still are enticing, but maybe,… just maybe, slightly different reasons. Before there was the promise of pleasure and passion. Now, when I look at them I see the promise of life to be fulfilled and yet to be lived… and yes, I still see and feel passion… I said I was middle aged, not dead!
Physically, I know I can’t attract these vessels of masculinity like I once could. And I guess a part of me is relieved about that. What if this aging body with the young mind and spirit could not keep up? Would my spirit then wither and dry up and die away? Or is it the idea of what youth was and what it always will be that keeps my blood pumping and mind jumping with ideas? Another part of me is a bit aggravated that I can’t laugh and wink my way into their hearts. If these young men are no longer available for me t practice my flirtatious ways, where will I practice them now? Older men are tired – sometimes too tired for the game of flirtation or they’re so cranky they have even forgotten what flirting is about. Flirting is that harmless act of verbal banter that reminds us, in spite of all the things in this world that tries to makes us asexual, there really is a difference between the boys and the girls and that difference is wonderful.
So middle age is about the realization that once you have a lot of things figured out and can finally appreciate them, your don’t have the time or maybe even the energy or the resources to carry on in such a manner. And that makes all the things you hadn’t given thought to before, a major degree of importance that you may have been overlooking.
Conversations with old friends are now cherished instead of discarded as being superficial and regaled as “just not being enough to keep me interested”.
Courtesies from strangers such as a “thank you” or a holding open a door can oftentimes turn a sour day into one of appreciation and thanksgiving. Good manners, that things I once touted as being “regimented brainwashing” is now perceived as a strangers way of saying to me “I see you and you matter.” So I’ve developed an appreciation for the finer but at the same time simpler things in life at this point.
So middle age, while maybe not a period of time for celebration, it’s definitely not a time for mourning either. It is just a time to be… who you are, and to appreciate who you were and to look forward to who you will be.
As Mick well knows, “Time, time, time – is on my side, yes it is.” And he’s still singing it, wearing his orthopedic shoes. Rock on.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Something for Mental Illness besides medication??? Really???
So much controversy about medications for mental illness – should I take them? Why can’t I find the ones that work well for me and not give me side affects such as
Weight gain
Sleepiness
Liver and Kidney problems
Heart problems
Parkinson like symptoms
And on and on.
It isn’t hard for me to understand why people might get discouraged and not want to take medication for their mental illness symptoms.
And then there is the debate about medicating children and if you medicate them at what age? And we don’t know how these medications affect their growth and later on in life since we have not been offering these type of medications to children for very long.
While I never questions whether my son should have taken meds at age 13 (he found a life after taking medication) I am seriously questioning it for my daughter. At age 17, she still has not been able to find a medication regiment that keeps her at a level that allows her to feel content and function at an “average” level for her age.
If you have read my book about Joshua – “Joshua Wears a Red Cape”, you know that we did try and we do support as a family, alternative treatments. Biofeedback is a must for everyone in my mind for pain control, health sleep cycles and just overall good mental health. We did allergy testing as well and for a while did “supplements”, but without great success.
I however, do not do well on pain meds when I have surgery and do not use them for a back that has two bulging disks or for my fibromyalgia. Homeopathic supplements work best for me for my pain symptoms.
And now, I am considering something similar for my daughter. Medication is NOT working for her. And with it comes too much sleep and too much weight gain.
After doing some research, I found several writings from Margot Kidder (Lois Lane in the Superman movies with Christopher Reeve). She was found several years back, not knowing where she was or who she was. Now she professes to have a very full life and one that she is in control of by taking the right vitamins.
Below is her regiment. I am very interested in your comments and if you have any experience with supplements for any type of mental disorder, I hope you choose to share with me your results.
Read below for what Lois Lane found to save her life better than Superman:
Margot Kidder’s Vitamin regiment
MORNING
1000 mg of L-Tyrosine
500 mg of L-Glutamine
(Note: Glutamine is a stimulant and can trigger mania, so is only used if a stimulant is needed.)
500 mg combination of choline and inositol
Nature's Life soft gelatin multiple vitamin (it digests better than pills and has extra B vitamins. This provides the nutrients the amino acids need to work)
EVENING
500 - 1000 mg of L-Taurine
500 mg GABA (if a little hyper, can take 1000-2000 mg)
1000 mg L-tryptophan (doctor's prescription needed)
Nature's Life soft gelatin multiple vitamin
AS NEEDED
500 mg Phenylalaline to boost mood
Weight gain
Sleepiness
Liver and Kidney problems
Heart problems
Parkinson like symptoms
And on and on.
It isn’t hard for me to understand why people might get discouraged and not want to take medication for their mental illness symptoms.
And then there is the debate about medicating children and if you medicate them at what age? And we don’t know how these medications affect their growth and later on in life since we have not been offering these type of medications to children for very long.
While I never questions whether my son should have taken meds at age 13 (he found a life after taking medication) I am seriously questioning it for my daughter. At age 17, she still has not been able to find a medication regiment that keeps her at a level that allows her to feel content and function at an “average” level for her age.
If you have read my book about Joshua – “Joshua Wears a Red Cape”, you know that we did try and we do support as a family, alternative treatments. Biofeedback is a must for everyone in my mind for pain control, health sleep cycles and just overall good mental health. We did allergy testing as well and for a while did “supplements”, but without great success.
I however, do not do well on pain meds when I have surgery and do not use them for a back that has two bulging disks or for my fibromyalgia. Homeopathic supplements work best for me for my pain symptoms.
And now, I am considering something similar for my daughter. Medication is NOT working for her. And with it comes too much sleep and too much weight gain.
After doing some research, I found several writings from Margot Kidder (Lois Lane in the Superman movies with Christopher Reeve). She was found several years back, not knowing where she was or who she was. Now she professes to have a very full life and one that she is in control of by taking the right vitamins.
Below is her regiment. I am very interested in your comments and if you have any experience with supplements for any type of mental disorder, I hope you choose to share with me your results.
Read below for what Lois Lane found to save her life better than Superman:
Margot Kidder’s Vitamin regiment
MORNING
1000 mg of L-Tyrosine
500 mg of L-Glutamine
(Note: Glutamine is a stimulant and can trigger mania, so is only used if a stimulant is needed.)
500 mg combination of choline and inositol
Nature's Life soft gelatin multiple vitamin (it digests better than pills and has extra B vitamins. This provides the nutrients the amino acids need to work)
EVENING
500 - 1000 mg of L-Taurine
500 mg GABA (if a little hyper, can take 1000-2000 mg)
1000 mg L-tryptophan (doctor's prescription needed)
Nature's Life soft gelatin multiple vitamin
AS NEEDED
500 mg Phenylalaline to boost mood
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