Book Review - Finding My Way

Finding My Way – A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma.
Michelle D. Sherman, Ph.D and DeAnne M. Sherman.

Review by Deborah Rose

There just aren’t enough resources for teens in any areas dealing with the illness of a parent, much less when dealing with a parent with a mental disorder or emotional problem.
So I was very excited to have the opportunity to read Finding My way – A teen’s Guide to living with a parent who has experienced Trauma, by Michelle D. Sherman, Ph.D.

Right form the very beginning, I knew that this book would be helpful to teens as the examples were all very well done. The stories were easy to understand and relate to without v=being overly maudlin or dramatic.

While the book explains how the brain works, I felt this chapter needed more info, especially about how we filter information and how this can effect how individuals manage stress. Along this line of thinking though, there were examples of what people did after a trauma who developed PTSD and those who didn’t. I felt the examples failed to tie together the actions with how the brain was operating, thus possibly giving the incorrect impression that people should try harder and just do things differently, even though that wasn’t their intent.

A very nice addition in the book is where they ask the teen to make notes of any positive changes the parent might have made since experiencing the trauma. This section is very uplifting and I believe proves a much needed activity that helps the teen to see the parent through different eyes, starting the teen onto the path of developing empathy. At the same time, the book gives the teen permission to feel how they feel, and it is very well done in supporting the teen to help them to not get bogged down in feelings of guilt or remorse about how they have felt in the past.
I was disappointed in the coping skills section and felt it could have been more informative.

Chapter Eleven is About how to Support Your Parent and what it really should say is How Do I Feel Good About my Parent and Our Relationship.
Some of the helpful hints should have stressed more strongly and been main points, not side notes.
I don’t think they effectively differentiated between support and care giving. This is hard to learn as adults and teens need better examples for them to be able to practice these type of positive living skills.

Overall, I highly recommend this book and my only true concern is that the book is written in workshop format. I am not sure a teen would take this book and read it on their own. But whether they do read it on an individual basis or it is a group project, I feel that anyone reading this book would benefit from the tips and insight it offers.