My Name Is Not Arrogance.

I needed something new for my blog, so it is quite fortunate that this conversation occurred yesterday. In my mind, this is already a great posting. I just hope it comes out as well once it hits paper.


Someone I consider with very high regard, yesterday, asked me if I thought I might be too arrogant and that could possibly keep me from learning from others.
For those of you who know me but not as well as you might, you are probably thinking to yourself – that’s not a bad question for Deborah.
For those of you who know me well enough to know my heart and my spirit, you are smiling to yourself, I know. The point that there are two groups here is a topic for another blog so I will move forward.

In answer to my friends question, the answer was no, I am not too arrogant. What is mistaken for arrogance is simply the calm, collectiveness of knowing who I am, flaws and strengths and being able to accept them, and being able to make cognitive decisions about how I will manage those traits.

Anyone can have this quiet. Not that I am always calm. That is a different matter. Regardless if my life is as I want it or if there is chaos surrounding me, I always know who I am and I am good with that. Do you know how you can have that in your life as well? I won’t dare even try to answer that for you. For me, though, I reached that point in a very early age in my life with two things.
I know the love, grace and forgiveness of God.
I know who I am in His eyes and I understand that I don’t have to understand anything else about His plan.

Do I like that I don’t know His plan all the time? Hell, no. Do I feel deserving of His unconditional love every single minute of my life? Again, it’s no.

It was a conscious choice of my part to accept His grace and to make it a part of who I am and how I deal with, accept, work with and love myself. If God can love me, who I am to argue with Him and say I am not worthy of love – His or anyone else’s or my own?

With that as my foundation, it makes everything else I do and have to deal with just a part of life that, even when it is not what I want, or what I would choose, I know that something good can come from it, even if I don’t see it or understand it. I also know that every day and every person is a lesson. I learn something from everyone I encounter, though I do not actively seek them out.


What I am saying is, I pray about everything I do. I’m not strong enough to always allow God to make my decisions. And I am not strong enough to always follow his direction. I pray to be a better person everyday of my life. I pray that I fulfill whatever goals He has for me. I pray that I am able to make Him proud of me, which is not the same thing as loving me.


When you think of me as arrogant, reframe that and see if that doesn’t seem more appropriate. Instead of saying arrogant, say passionate, someone who is driven who has given a lot of thought about the goal she is trying to reach and is excited about reaching it, frustrated when she is blocked from reaching it.

Instead of saying arrogant, say confident. She’s been down this road before and has a vast amount of experience that gives her the ability to see the different ways this could turn out and she’s willing to deal with any and all of the consequences.

Instead of saying arrogant, say determined. She’s not sure of what could happen or even what should, but she’s committed to a choice or a path, after asking for guidance that she relies on. She's not willing to back down to avoid conflict or even punishment if she believes she is doing the right thing or fighting for a just cause.

Instead of saying arrogant, say focused. She’s been given a vision and though she doesn’t understand what it all means, she has a purpose she is trying to fulfill. And she only participates in activities that she feels strongly about. Mediocre or milquetoast is not in her make up.

Instead of saying arrogant, say strong. She’s willing to take the heat for everyone involved if it will get the ultimate goal accomplished. While you might think she's like a dog with a bone, reframe it to being able to stand up under prolonged periods of stress.

Instead of saying arrogant, say isolated. She has committed her life to finding God’s purpose for her and sometimes that means doing things others don’t understand or doing things that even can be considered anti-social if you are not privy to her mind set.

Instead of saying arrogant, say fulfilled. She has choices, every day about everything and she has made her choice. If you don’t understand her or her actions, try asking more questions.

And again, remember, this is not everything that I am, just a part of who I have become, by choice.